In my book OFF the HOOK, (click here for blog on book) I explore a young woman’s struggle with fear. Laura finds the strength to leave a relationship when she discovers the ability to overcome the fear of her partners wrath. Through an almost supernatural interaction at a cocktail party, a stranger tells her the opposite of fear is love and she needs to love herself to over overcome fear.
I find people often think of joy as the opposite of fear, yet I have had many times when I wasn’t filled with joy, yet had no real fear. Laura’s thoughts on her fear is in the following excerpt from Off the Hook:
“Then, as I thought about Rolf’s way of making demands and being very unpredictable in the relationship, I realized he used drama to maintain control, just like mother. Rolf never gently requested things; he always set a stage of urgency for his ‘suggestions’ and then demanded I salute and obey them. If I didn’t agree it became a major problem, complete with descriptions of the terrible, horrible consequences of my thinking, the long-range implication of my decisions, always anchored with suggestions I was not smart enough or old enough to understand life.
“It went off in my head that my mother used the same line for years; ‘Laura, you are not old enough or bright enough to understand what is going on’. This constantly reoccurred in my childhood and became a thought I deeply believed. I was shocked when my seventh grade teacher said I was a very bright child, positive she must have me confused with someone else.”
How does fear control our lives? How do we learn to walk in love and not fear? I would love to know your thoughts.